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Kids love it–adults, meh: The Tale of Despereaux

January 3, 2009
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Overall Rating: C
Artistic/Filmmaking: A-
Storytelling: D-
MPAA Rating: PG

Overview

An unbelievably well-animated story that is a apparently a “classic” among people who are not my family, The Tale Of Desperaux attempts to throw approximately three stories and maybe 15 or so independent story components to the wall to see what sticks.  The kids will like it (Your Movie Monkey’s daughters did), but, as with Eragon, adults will feel that they’ve seen this all before.  (And, unlike Eragon, the parts you’ve seen before will not always have come from  the highest quality of movies.)

Kid Review

Drama (Your Movie Monkey’s 9-year-old daughter) rated this movie an A- and had this to say:  The Tale of Despereaux started out as a good story.  But then, it just gets really complicated.  The other thing about The Tale of Despereaux that I didn’t care for was that there were a lot of weird things that turned up; i.e., a talking and walking man made out of fruits and vegetables.  But there were a lot of good things about this movie, too.  It was basically a lot of interesting stories, and they are connected in some way or another, and blended into one story.

Queen (Your Movie Monkey’s 7-year-old daughter) rated this movie an A+, and declined further comment.

 Full Review

Your Movie Monkey was a little worried about this movie, for the sheer fact that in the previews, a princess is shown talking to a mouse, and says something like “you’re a strange little mouse”, and the mouse says “thank you”.  It’s the kind of self-referential nonsense Your Movie Monkey finds irritating.  In Your Movie Monkey’s high school, there was a girl who prided herself on being “different”, not one of the crowd, a rugged individual.  The problem was, she was constantly pointing out how different she was being, which made it, somehow, forced.  IYMMHO, a rugged individual is one who does there own thing just because they like it, not because they need attention from it.  Anyway, the mouse saying “thank you” to being described as strange felt very much like something Robin Williams would say in one of his moister on-screen moments.

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I’ll take depressing stories for $800 Alex: Slumdog Millionaire

December 19, 2008
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Overall Rating: B-
Filmmaking/Artistic: A-
MPAA Rating: R

Overview

A well-acted, beautifully shot, interesting story about an Indian youth named Jamal who grew up in the slums of Mumbai (a slumdog), who is–against all odds–in the middle of winning the big money on the Indian version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.  The question is, how?  Turns out that the answer is a long, unbelievably depressing (and fictional) story of  Jamal’s life in the slums.  Violent, perhaps realistic, the question is whether this movie is how you want to spend 2 hours of your time.

Full Review

The subject of intelligence has been of interest for quite some time, especially the concept of innate intelligence.  But of course, the problem is that the natural definition of intelligence (can he figure stuff out) becomes difficult to assess without a frame of reference.  “If there are 3 birds on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?”  To a kid who grows up knowing birds only as an abstract concept (that picture in the book is a bird), without being exposed to live birds, the answer might reasonably be two.  But to anyone who has been around a bird (or other animal) when a loud noise goes off (especially a loud noise that fatally wounds a buddy on a nearby fence), the right answer is of course zero.  So which answer shows more intelligence, two or zero?  The answer is, one probably can’t tell from this assessment, which is a lot of the controversy with achievement tests like the SAT.  (Perhaps a better term for these is college preparedness tests… it’s not what one can achieve, it’s how prepared one is for the very specific tasks required in college.  But Your Movie Monkey, as always, digresses.)

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When San Francisco is just too darn conservative: Madagascar 2–Escape to Africa

December 8, 2008
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Overall Rating: C-
Filmmaking/Artistic: C
MPAA Rating: PG

Overview

A very strange, somewhat disturbing follow-up to the original Madagascar, this sequel makes no sense unless you’ve already seen the first one, and has a bizarre “anything goes” morality that will probably go over the heads of really young kids, but give pause for those who are older.  An uninteresting story, plus stolen bits from The Lion King, make this a “skip it” movie.

Mini-review

Your Movie Monkey somewhat enjoyed the first Madagascar, especially the penguins, but this second journey definitely goes downhill.  Alex the lion, Marty the zebra, Melman the giraffer, and Gloria the hippo are back, and while attempting to fly back to New York, crash land in Africa.

While there, each has a kind of separate story.  Alex is in the middle of a remake of the lion king, complete with Mufasa-esque dad and Scar-esque evil uncle.  (Producer: What should we do with Alex’s character?  We’re 15 minutes short.  Writer: Hey, I know, there’s this other animated lion movie…)  Marty finds that in Africa, he’s indistinguishable from all the other zebras, because they all look like him (and talk like him, since Chris Rock does all the voices).  It bothers him that Alex can’t tell him apart from the other zebras, so somehow, captivitiy was a good thing.

Gloria falls in love with a very big hippo named Moto Moto, and Melman professes his undying love for Gloria.

The movie is not very interesting… even Your Movie Monkey’s favorites from the first, the penguins, fall a little flat.  They are still somewhat amusing, except for the bit about the doll.  Somehow, the lead penguin has fallen in love with a bobble-head doll.  There are even “incriminating” pictures of him with the doll used as blackmail.  This was a very strange, inappropriate turn for a kids’ movie.

As was Gloria’s relationship with Moto Moto.  Firstly, Gloria and Moto Moto hang out in some form of pond that is clearly meant to look like a hottub.  Moto Moto is even drawn to look like a naked human, as he has chest hair drawn in on his skin in this hot tub scene.  His entire attraction to Gloria is admittedly physical.  Your Movie Monkey found these scenes creepy, and not altogether appropriate.

Plus, there’s a wierd subtheme about making a sacrifice (of Melman) to the “volcano gods”, in order to get water flowing again.   (Melman does this to save Gloria.)  This idea dreamed up by gender-bending King Julien of the lemurs, who at one point pops out with coconut bosoms and asks “Now who’s attracted to me?”   The movie at first makes it seem like Julien is just crazy, and the audience knows the real cause of the water shortage is a logjam upriver.  But when the jam is cleared, and Julien hints that maybe it wasn’t the volcano gods, the volcano kind of spits lava, as if to say “yes it was”.  Strange.

The best part of the movie (IYMMHO) was the return of Alex’s old lady nemesis from New York.  In her fight against the wild beasts of Africa, the beasts had better watch out.

Overall this is a morally ambiguous film that does not portray very good messages.  For a better review than Your Movie Monkey’s, check out the  Decent Films Guide.

Travolta and Cyrus do us proud: Bolt

December 3, 2008
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Overall Rating: A
Filmmaking/Artistic: A+
MPAA Rating: PG

Overview

Fantastic action, great humor at Hollywood’s expense, and the joy of being a dog.  Bolt has it all, and is fun for kids and adults.  Could be a little scary for kids 5 and under, but overall a great film, well worth seeing.

Full Review

Your Movie Monkey had his doubts.  John Travolta has admittedly a great, familiar voice, especially for those of us old enough to remember Vinnie Barbarino.  (For those of you for whom Welcome Back Kotter was before your time, as a young actor, Mr. Travolta had the power to make us elementary school kids use the phrase “up your nose widda rubber hose” as an insult.  Seriously.)  But as an actor, he’s hit or miss, with one strong hit for every 25 to 50 misses, it seems.  And Miley Cyrus, well, some of us are still smarting from Billy Ray. 

But Bolt came highly recommended from friends, and it certainly did not disappoint.  As promised in the previews, the story revolves around a dog named Bolt who is the star of a popular action show on television.  But as we learn from the oh-so-Hollywood director of the show, Bolt has been raised from puppyhood to think the show going on a round him is real, and that he really does have his superpowers.  (And, wonderfully, the reason for this ruse is a form of method acting: he wants to be able to get shots of a dog who really believes he is an action hero, so it will be realistic.)

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As Unintelligible as its Title: Quantum of Solace

November 27, 2008
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Overall Rating: C-
Filmmaking/Artistic: C-
MPAA Rating: PG-13

Overview

Daniel Craig as James Bond and Judi Dench as M succeed despite the pretty bad movie going on around them.  Herky-jerky editing makes even the action sequences almost unwatchable, and the plot is almost unintelligible, even for a Bond film.

Full Review

Your Movie Monkey was quite a fan of the first installment of the James Bond series starring Daniel Craig, Casino Royale.  In fact, he finds this current Bond actor to be the most, um, believable.  (OK, they are all completely unrealistic and quite un-believable, but Mr. Craig certainly is the most believable as the character.  Not quite as smarmy as Sean Connery (although Sean Connery was able to say the four-syllable word “Moneypenny” with three and a half syllables in a way that was quite distinctive, something like “MON-uh-PEN-uh”); not near as old as Roger Moore; not so Shakespearean as Timothy Dalton; and clearly more believable as an action star than the prim-but-amusing-and-likeable Pierce Brosnan.

When discussing the new Bond with various folks, you invariably get anyone over 50 saying something like “no one will ever be Bond except Connery” (with one noted exception from a colleague in my office who I believe is over 50 but who [rightly, IYMMHO] claims that Mr. Craig is the best).  However, Your Movie Monkey has found that younger folks have taken to this new, more detached Bond.  When recalling Casino Royale, most guys seem to say something like “great movie, liked the poker”.  Women, on the other hand, seem to have their eyes go slightly out of focus as they reminisce about a speedo-clad Bond walking around in the surf; luckily, only a few have actually drooled.

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Third Time’s a Smarm: High School Musical 3

November 24, 2008
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Overall Rating: C+
Filmmaking/Artistic: C-
MPAA Rating: G

Overview

More of the same… better than HSM2 but not as good as HSM1.  A very, very long movie that could have benefitted from some editing.  Still, an upbeat, positive movie for kids, with two leads who only share a kiss.  Hurray for not growing up to fast.

Full review

Your Movie Monkey is one of those middle-aged dads who has been dragged into the High School Musical franchise by his charming daughters, Drama and Queen.  In the first installment, Your Movie Monkey was beyond impressed with this made-for-TV Disney production, because it was like Grease (if Grease were cleaned up) had essentially positive values, catchy songs, decent (if not terribly original) messages, depicted inter-racial friendships without alluding to the fact that they were inter-racial, and, perhaps most importantly, found a young actor who could some how pull off a realistic basketball star who was conflicted about his inner desire to croon show tunes.  As would be expected, the franchise had enough material for about 1.15 movies, and has now made 3 installments due to their success, so they are losing quite a bit of steam.  But, to make sense of #3, one must begin at the beginning, with the back story.

In part 1, we start at some kind of resort/dude ranch during Christmas vacation, where high school junior Troy communicates with his dad through their basketball relationship, and his mom encourages him to go to the kids party to celebrate New Year’s Eve.  There he meets Gabriella, who communicates through reading a book in the corner.  (Hollywood code: She’s smart!)  During a karaoke sing, Troy is handed the microphone at the middle of an unknown song, shrugs his shoulders, and sings like he’s been doing it since he was 3.  Gabriella chimes in and they sing well together, never missing a beat or a handoff, and they bring down the house, but go off sad to never see each other again.

Well, until the next scene, where she’s the new kid in his high school in the hot bed of theatre arts, Albequeque.   Read more »

Archives

Critics
Marvel's The Avengers93%
Dark Shadows42%
Think Like a Man51%
The Hunger Games84%
The Lucky One20%
The Five-Year Engagement63%
The Pirates! Band of Misfits86%
The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel76%
Chimpanzee74%
Safe55%
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