Action/Mystery/Thriller

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island

February 13, 2012
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Overall:★★½☆☆ 
Filmmaking/Artistic:★★★☆☆ 
Storytelling:★½☆☆☆ 

So, your kids should really like this one.  It isn’t terrible for adults, but then again, it isn’t all that great.

The plot is: For some reason a kid (Josh Hutcherson) and The Rock (insert 2 minutes of standard blended family boy trying to find himself shooting death eyes at stepdad) go traipsing off to somewhere near the filming of the latest season of Survivor, find a helicopter pilot from the Comic Relief Agency (25% surcharge for pilot bringing his cute daughter from High School Musical, additional 10% if she is not allowed to sing), and fly through some kind of whirlpool vortex thing straight into an updated Land of the Lost.  You know, elephants are small, dragonflies are big, stuff is dangerous, those-aren’t-rocks-they’re-eggs (gasp!), that kind of deal.  And the island is sinking and it’s really Atlantis and Michael Caine stars as long-lost-grandpa dressed up like Barbie’s Adventure Ken.  And somehow Jules Verne and Robert Louis Stevenson cooked it all up years ago.

That is to say, the story is pretty ridiculous, and doesn’t flow… it feels like one set up scene after another.

For the positive stuff, Dwayne Johnson is, as always, very good as a comedic and physical actor.  Josh Hutcherson plays his role well (looking forward to him as Peeta in Hunger Games), and Michael Caine is enjoyably hammy.  And some (but not all) of the special effects are fun.  It’s just that the script is, well, nuts.

So, go for the kids.  There is no bad language, or it is very minimal.  The Rock is funny.  The adventure is decent, if predictable and/or stupid.  But if it’s date night, pick something else.

The Immortals

January 15, 2012
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Overall:★★★☆☆ 
Filmmaking/Artistic:★★★½☆ 
Storytelling:★★★☆☆ 

Basically, 300 lite.  But entertaining if you like this type of movie.

Captain America

January 15, 2012
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Overall:★★½☆☆ 
Filmmaking/Artistic:★★★☆☆ 
Storytelling:★★☆☆☆ 

Standard superhero fare.  Big budget, yet somehow charisma-free.

Thor

January 15, 2012
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Overall:★★★★☆ 
Filmmaking/Artistic:★★★★☆ 
Storytelling:★★★★☆ 

Really fun summer action movie. Chris Hemmerline does action and comedy both well, Natalie Portman is great. Anthony Hopkins is even decent (occasionally Sir Anthony can be a little hammy). The only thing Your Movie Monkey found a little funny was that the realm (planet) of bad guys was called Yodenheim (or Jodenheim or something). Every time Your Movie Monkey heard this, he thought it sounded like a mid-sized town that Borscht Belt comics knew well. (Oy, when you work Jodenheim, be sure to stop at Bubbie’s for a knisch!)

Your Movie Monkey was surprised it’s rated PG-13. He thinks the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe was rated PG, and it was more violent. Alice in Wonderland was PG and it was way, way more violent. Very little language, and that was mild. No “adult situation”. Just a fun movie.  Your Movie Monkey took his 9 year old and had no issues with it.

Hanna

January 15, 2012
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Overall:★★★☆☆ 
Filmmaking/Artistic:★★★☆☆ 
Storytelling:★★★☆☆ 

The pitch: “OK, let’s remake the Bourne Supremacy/Conspiracy/Oligopoly or whatever but with a 14 year old girl in the Matt Damon part and Eric Bana as her dad who jogs and swims and does calisthenics for no apparent reason. What, don’t care for Bana? He’s cheaper than any other action star… maybe we could give him an ‘accent’ and folks won’t notice who it is?” Actually, it’s decently acted, and the girl playing Hanna is great, but the story is like the Eragon of action/suspsense thrillers… you’ve clearly seen every last bit of it before in other movies. And most plot elements, many times. The movie also could have used some serious editing. The most useful thing about the movie is this… if you ever find a critic who uses the word “taut” or “crisp” (or any other word to mean “moves along at a decent pace without a lot of filler”) to describe it, definitely be skeptical of this critic in the future. It’s anything but! Nothing painful, but nothing new.

The Lincoln Lawyer

January 15, 2012
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Overall:★★★½☆ 
Filmmaking/Artistic:★★★½☆ 
Storytelling:★★★½☆ 

An enjoyable afternoon at the movies, especially if you’re too young to remember Jagged Edge.  Matthew McConnaughey does his usual shtick, which is pleasant enough in this particular film.  It’s like a really good episode of Law and Order, with decent acting.  Interestingly, the title of the movie refers to the fact that as a lawyer, Matthew McC’s character doesn’t have an office, but works out of his Lincoln.  This is presented in the movie, but it’s not a major plot point.  Your Movie Monkey thought that the setting was Lincoln, Nebraska, or that the lawyer was from Lincoln, Nebraska.  Nope.

Kick-Ass

January 15, 2012
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Overall:★★★★☆ 
Filmmaking/Artistic:★★★★☆ 
Storytelling:★★★★☆ 

So Your Movie Monkey was skeptical when this was out in the theaters, and then it was recommended by a friend, and he rented it, and it was great.  Lots of action (violent – not for the squeamish), a hilarious storyline, and completely over-the-top.  Like Batman meets Pulp Fiction meets Revenge of the Nerds, if that’s possible.  Definitely 100% not for kids… quite a bit of coarse language and very brief but R-rated situation (could have done without that).  But if you like a good action movie with lots of humor thrown in, this one’s the one.

Battle Los Angeles

January 15, 2012
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Overall:★★½☆☆ 
Filmmaking/Artistic:★★★☆☆ 
Storytelling:★★☆☆☆ 

Exactly what you would expect.  Not a penny more, not a penny less.  Aliens invade.  A company of marine stereotypes goes out to fight them (the tough-as-nails older guy just about to retire, the green leader fresh out of school, the guy about to get married, the young guy everyone else has to look out for).  The aliens have superior technology, and of course there will be a string of defeats, until about 90 minutes in.  Still the acting is decent and stuff does blow up, so it’s not a complete waste of time.

The Mechanic

January 15, 2012
By
 
Overall:★★★☆☆ 
Filmmaking/Artistic:★★★☆☆ 
Storytelling:★★★☆☆ 

An appetizer to the Summer 2011 feast of action movies.  Enjoyable, nothing earth shattering.  Your Movie Monkey thought the official review on rottentomatoes.com was something like “mind numbing violence and action thriller cliches.”  Yep, that’s it.  If you’re in the mood for it.  [Definitely not for children.]

The Eagle

January 15, 2012
By
 
Overall:★★½☆☆ 
Filmmaking/Artistic:★★★☆☆ 
Storytelling:★★☆☆☆ 

Imagine Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto as a buddy film.  That’s basically what ya got here.  It’s ok, main actor (Channing Tatum) is a bit wooden, but not terrible.  Costumes are a little odd – Your Movie Monkey swears the mean character was wearing leg warmers through the second half, which didn’t help him seem “tough”.  And does anyone have more fun as an actor than Donald Sutherland?  He seems to have a whole lot of job satisfaction.  Also, if Your Movie Monkey could pass one rule, it might be a moratorium on filming battle scenes in that jerky, “Blair Witch” style of filming.

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