For the first time ever, Your Movie Monkey found a movie to be as good as the book (although different).

The story revolves around a changed North America that is divided into 12 districts who do hard labor for the upscale citizens of the Capital, and 74 years ago these districts rebelled, and lost.  As punishment, each year the districts must send one boy and one girl, age 12-18, to the capital to fight in an elaborate outdoor arena… to the death.

The main character is the  girl “tribute” from the coal district – a district who typically loses both tributes.  Mixing the ancient greek myth of sacrificing youths and maidens to the minotaur and the current obsession with reality TV, the story has a universal themes but is action packed with decent characters, and just an entertaining day at the movies.

The cast is good, and Woody Harrelson far exceeded Your Movie Monkey’s expectations as Haymitch (a character who is not at all funny in the book).  Donald Sutherland is absolutely brilliant as the menacing but calm President Snow.  Other characters are good too.

There’s not too much to else say without being a spoiler.  It’s a violent movie (although there are not many shots of weapons penetrating skin, most is off screen), there is still blood and it would be more than a little frightening for young kids.  To Your Move Monkey the good thing about the movie (and the book) is that the violence is not glorified.  It is definitely portrayed as evil that these children are forced to fight in this way.

Very well done.

Your Movie Monkey liked this movie, but didn’t see why it was worthy of a bajillion Oscars.  Yes, it is a silent film, but is this reason enough to say it’s better than, say, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2?  Both are gimmick films in a way, and yet the Harry Potter movie had a better pace, and even with a flying dragon felt less “gimmicky”.

Actually, the word Your Movie Monkey would use to describe The Artist is “indulgent”, a word used with great effect by Simon Cowell.  The movie is Hollywood congratulating itself for being Hollywood.  It mourns the passing of the silent film art form through the eyes of its main character George Valentin (played brilliantly by Jean Dujardin), an aging silent screen star who thinks talkies are a fad.   (Seriously, the two most amazing physical portrayals Your Movie Monkey has seen in the last year are Jean Dujardin’s smile as Valentin and the way Joseph Gordon-Levitt conveyed unbelievable amounts of emotion with his eyes alone in 50-50.)  Lots of stereotypes abound, and that is perhaps the point, but it also feels a bit contrived and predictable.

An interesting 90 minutes, yes.  Well acted and well filmed, certainly.  Main actor great, definitely.  But best movie Your Movie Monkey has ever seen? Hardly.

Based on the John Carter series by Edgar Rice Burroughs, the film with the eye-popping budget is quite nice visually but the story is, well, complicated.  It seems to be cobbled together from lots of stuff you’ve seen before, but maybe it’s actually the basis for the stuff Your Movie Monkey has seen before.  On a percentage basis, it’s

60% Star Wars – An entire race of creatures that look like Jar Jar crossed with a frog crossed with the green chick that danced for Jabba, a really complicated series of wars and treaties and environmental issue happening on Mars (aka Barsu to the locals), and an arena where big monsters are faced down as a punishment.

25% Stargate – pushing buttons and saying magic words to get you to a planet where (at least some) look human, speak English, and have a hottie princess running around trying to save the planet (oh wait, that last bit was Star Wars).  In English.

5% Lord of the Rings – The part of that movie that Your Movie Monkey disliked, you know, all the complicated sci-fi names for everything.  “By the caves of Hroath the second vligel of elves found the bow of Glickesh and did shoot the arrow of Zrosar into Mount Wniath.”  (But at least John Carter had no hobbits.)

5% Cowboys and Aliens – The part where they take the handsome star and dress him up in Ye Olde cowboy clothes and let him have both an adventure and bad memories of a lost love in the Old West for a while.

5% Sherlock Holmes – Part near the end was worthy of Robert Downey Jr.

The special effects were good, but the story really, really clunked along and seemed kind of tired.  Your Movie Monkey did find himself checking the watch quite a bit.  He also wished that the main star, instead of spending 10 hours a day in the gym in preparation, had spent 8 hours in the gym and 2 hours in acting class.  He had about the same charisma as did Chris Evans in Captain America.

For kids, there’s a very small amount of swearing in it, and it’s not as violent as some (Pirates of the Caribbean and Alice in Wonderland seemed more violent.)  Your Movie Monkey brought his 10 year old and wasn’t concerned about it.

If you’re a real sci fi fan, you could see this.  If not, wait for a rental.

So, your kids should really like this one.  It isn’t terrible for adults, but then again, it isn’t all that great.

The plot is: For some reason a kid (Josh Hutcherson) and The Rock (insert 2 minutes of standard blended family boy trying to find himself shooting death eyes at stepdad) go traipsing off to somewhere near the filming of the latest season of Survivor, find a helicopter pilot from the Comic Relief Agency (25% surcharge for pilot bringing his cute daughter from High School Musical, additional 10% if she is not allowed to sing), and fly through some kind of whirlpool vortex thing straight into an updated Land of the Lost.  You know, elephants are small, dragonflies are big, stuff is dangerous, those-aren’t-rocks-they’re-eggs (gasp!), that kind of deal.  And the island is sinking and it’s really Atlantis and Michael Caine stars as long-lost-grandpa dressed up like Barbie’s Adventure Ken.  And somehow Jules Verne and Robert Louis Stevenson cooked it all up years ago.

That is to say, the story is pretty ridiculous, and doesn’t flow… it feels like one set up scene after another.

For the positive stuff, Dwayne Johnson is, as always, very good as a comedic and physical actor.  Josh Hutcherson plays his role well (looking forward to him as Peeta in Hunger Games), and Michael Caine is enjoyably hammy.  And some (but not all) of the special effects are fun.  It’s just that the script is, well, nuts.

So, go for the kids.  There is no bad language, or it is very minimal.  The Rock is funny.  The adventure is decent, if predictable and/or stupid.  But if it’s date night, pick something else.

Horribly clunky dialogue. All stuff you’ve seen before, but set in a zoo. An example: Know how you can tell the teenage boy is upset at his mom’s death? His drawings are violent and dark! (And it’s Hollywood, so his drawings are in this fancy leather journal, of course.) Also, the little girl is cute, but it’s Hollywood, so dad interacts with her as if she is an adult, asking for parenting advice.  Was wishing for Chipwrecked.

Guest Review from Your Movie Monkey’s 12-year-old daughter, Drama

I didn’t know what to expect from this movie.  From the commercial, the theme seems to be “a touching and inspiring family movie”, but it is packed with cussing.  The story was good but got side tracked.  Overall, my favorite part was the sets.  I liked how it ended, but the beginning was slow.  It was worth seeing.

Basically, 300 lite.  But entertaining if you like this type of movie.

An excellent movie, even though it has Seth Rogen. (For the life of me, I don’t get why he is so popular.) Best performance by an actor I’ve seen in a long, long time. (Joseph Gordon-Levitt). Of course there is some ridiculous crassness because of Seth Rogan, Gordon-Levitt conveys so much with just his face. Along with Wit, another great movie detailing the pain of facing cancer essentially alone. Not for kids, of course.

Wow, that was a good movie. Recommended by friends at work, and they were right. If you like movies from India, you’ll like this one a lot.

If Your Movie Monkey never hears Larry the Cable Guy again, it will be too soon.

It is unbelievable that this movie had a 91% positive on rotten tomatoes. Very, very well acted. Funny in places, and moving. But it’s predictable as they come. Your Movie Monkey outlined the plot in his head in the first 5 minutes. And it’s definitely slow in places. Bobby Cannavale is phenomenal as Paul Giamatti’s buddy Terry, and Jeffery Tambor is great as usual. It’s just slow. Not There Will Be Blood slow, but slow. Oh yes, and fans of the Office will enjoy seeing Amy Ryan in a serious turn.